Inspirational single father celebrated
“Anybody can be a daddy, but not anyone can be a father” is an adage that Stanfield Brangman takes to heart.
Life has not always been kind to Mr Brangman, or his son Shawn, 33, who is at home in a wheelchair.
A father of four, Mr Brangman lost his wife Deborah to cancer in 2005, while persistent heart trouble and a surgery-related complication have profoundly affected his son’s health.
Mr Brangman’s fortitude as a single parent has been saluted by the group Imagine Bermuda, which is celebrating the Island’s fathers in the run-up to Father’s Day on June 21.
“Shawn has had a rough ride but he’s managed to come out of it,” Mr Brangman told The Royal Gazette.
“You just have to go in and take the bull by the horns and do what you’ve got to do.
“It’s not an easy task but there are others to help him out as well. I think I’ve done a good job.”
Shawn has three siblings: older brother Stanfield Jr, 42, and younger sisters Shawnette, 28, and 21-year-old Shawnae.
Mr Brangman’s parental philosophy can be summed up as “doing what you’ve got to do”, he said: “You look after them, do the best you can and hope they stay on the right track.”
Shawn was born with a heart murmur, which over the years caused damage to his aorta, the main artery of the human body.
He has been affected by three aneurysms, which are bulges in the walls of blood vessels, and in 2012 his aorta tore.
One of his nerves was damaged during surgery, impairing his mobility. Shawn was in Baltimore this year for his third round of surgery.
The extent to which he will regain his movement is unknown, but in the meantime he gets regular physiotherapy and depends a great deal on his father for help.
“His aunties come around to check on him and make sure he’s OK; friends come around to pay a visit — he’s surrounded with a lot of love and people that help to care for him,” Mr Brangman said.
It takes grit to deal with tragedy and his son’s medical travails, which included a bad road accident in 2000, but Mr Brangman has learnt to keep pushing through.
“It gets easier all the time,” he said. “When it first occurs, you have to pick up the pieces. Some people handle things differently but with life you’ve got to get up and run with it.
“When his mother was sick I looked after her. Now he is sick, I look after him.”
Sociable by nature, Mr Brangman has been a bartender for about 40 years, working as well for MEF Group.
Bartending means you have to be “a people person — keep them coming back and keep them happy”, he said.
After his cruel twists of fate, Shawn has had to come to terms with a difficult life.
“It’s been three years,” he said from his wheelchair. “It’s been tough. I’m doing all right. It’s improving — not quick enough for me. At the time this happened I was working in the warehouse at Gosling’s. Doing pretty good, too.”
Shawn also drummed with the Warwick Gombeys, until his illness “messed up the whole programme”.
“He’s doing a good job for me,” said Shawn of his father, adding: “We used to bartend together.”
Asked which of them had the better skills, both men laughed. Shawn said: “He’s a seasoned vet. There is some stuff I can make better. The first drink he taught me how to mix was the Cosmopolitan — girls like it.
“He has his own Swizzle; I can make that pretty good — there are only two of us, me and my sister Shawnae.”
Rallying around each other with the help of their friends in the community near Loyal Hill, where Mr Brangman’s wife hailed from, the two men can only wait and see how Shawn’s condition comes along.
“Things happen,” Mr Brangman said. “You never know what life has got in front of you. You’re not going to take on more than you can bear — I just try to make sure my son is OK.”
“There is no more heroic task than that called on, for fathers playing a role in the lives of children,” said Glenn Fubler of the group Imagine Bermuda.
“While that heroism may not be the kind found in movies, the reality of the courage of fathers, transforms lives. Imagine Bermuda and the Family Centre are joining the Bermuda National Library in celebrating this role in the week leading up to Father’s Day on June 21.
“There are many ways to observe the significance of the role of fathering. We are suggesting that one such means could be for fathers and their children to attend the upcoming football game to be held at the National Stadium on Monday, June 15 — National Heroes Day. We note also that there will be group rates available for the game.
“In addition, we are collaborating with the print media to have a variety of local personalities to share stories and reflections on the significance of fathering. The idea is to promote a conversation, moving beyond the boxes of the past and to inspire all of us involved in fathering, with the view to leveraging the capacity of upcoming generations.
“A goal of this initiative is to facilitate the empowerment of fathers and mentors in their promotion of the development of children. This includes updating them on the support systems available, in this regard. One way is for fathers, mentors and children to register or renew membership in the Bermuda Library over this period.
“A draw prize is being offered for those attending the library over the next two weeks and attendees will receive information about free online educational features that will support families in optimising the potential of adults and children who take advantage.”
