The practice of journalists being made to stand up every time Premier Ewart Brown enters the room took a new twist at the press conference unveiling Michael Scott as Bermuda’s new Health Minister. A general air of confusion descended over the proceedings when, on welcoming his esteemed boss through the door, the Premier’s new Press Secretary Glenn Jones failed to beckon everyone to their feet in the irritatingly officious style of his predecessor Scott Simmons. A few seconds later, half the reporters present had clambered to their feet in acknowledgement of the great one’s presence while a handful of more irreverent hacks, perhaps hopeful the protocol had been binned along with Mr. Simmons, remained cheekily glued to their seats.

Reporters shot awkward glances across the table at each other before, following a brief moment of indecision, the sitters thought they’d better stand up after all. Unfortunately, at exactly the same time the standers had come to the conclusion they should sit back downThe Royal Gazette reporter probably had the best idea, having adopted a rather strange crouching position which was neither quite standing up nor sitting down throughout the whole sorry procedure. All in all it was a bit of a farce and something which never would have happened if Scott Simmons had been there. Bring him back. No, actually, please don’t.

Hector’s colleagues are finding more amusement value than news value from the UBP’s unveiling of its election candidates. The latest gaffe came from Devonshire North Central hopeful Albertha Waite who while reaching for political platitudes came out with the corker about “taking it to the next level”. Erm, you might want to pick another cliché because that one has already been bagged by Ewart Brown, whose concept of the next level seems to get ever more alarming by the day.

With all the tension of recent days clearly MPs have been searching for light relief — perhaps too hard. The other day Suzann Roberts-Holshouser of the Opposition called on the House of Assembly to congratulate Dotty the Clown, the children’s entertainer. Dotty has apparently triumphed in an international talent competition — ‘Clown Idol’, in Calgary, Canada. For those who thought MPs already clown around enough in the House of Assembly, they will not be surprised to hear the statement drew an enthusiastic response. It certainly broke the ice after the tense political climate of the past few days. Informing the House of Dotty’s win, Mrs. Holshouser said: “She did enter this competition and she did walk away with the crown for Calgary”. Many might say there are already enough comedians in the House. If Dotty made a personal appearance would anyone notice the difference? However with the recent raids on media outlets and the Auditor General, Hector would prefer the powers-that-be stopped sending in the Police and opted instead to send in the clowns.

Football boss David Bascome was clearly annoyed at The Royal Gazette’s article about disappointing crowds at the Island Soccer League games last week which, he explainon Colonel David Burch’s talk show on Sunday night, put out an unnecessarily negative image about the competition. Fair enough. So whose comments were they that the Gazette’s article was based on? Er, that would be Island Soccer League organiser David Bascome. Hector realises that press bashing is all the rage but surely that one should be ruled offside?