Shaun Goater admitted that he was "absolutely sick" after turning down Bermuda only to spend the weekend warming the bench for Reading.

Just 24 hours before the Island squad flew out for their ultimately unsuccessful Digicel Cup campaign, Goater made an apologetic call to national coach and old friend Kyle Lightbourne to say he was staying at Reading.

He made the tough decision after assistant coach Kevin Dillon called him to say that following an injury to striker Dave Kitson the club would like him to stay because he "would be involved" in the Wigan game on Saturday. Instead Goater was an unused sub.

"My plans for the last week or ten days have completely backfired ? I'm absolutely sick," said Goater.

"I made the decision because it was the chance I had been waiting for at Reading, I was expecting to play and it was an opportunity to stake my claim for a place in the team.

"It was a hard decision to turn down Bermuda because it always means a lot to me to play for my country. To sit there on the bench knowing that I could have done my bit is very frustrating.

"Things just haven't worked out at all. If I had known I was going to be on the bench then I definitely would have gone. Partly because I could have helped my country but also from a selfish point of view, I could have played a part in all three games and picked up some match fitness.

"As it is, not only did I miss out on playing for Bermuda but I still only have one reserve game under my belt.

"It is frustrating but these things happen in football."

Despite a strong start to the five-day tournament in St. Vincent, Bermuda wasted a great chance to qualify with a blowout against the British Virgin Islands on Sunday.

A 2-1 victory over Cayman followed by a dramatic comeback to force a 3-3 draw with hosts St. Vincent left Lightbourne's men needing just a point from the final game against BVI.

But wasted opportunities and a bit of bad luck saw Bermuda go down 2-0, with Lightbourne admitting afterwards that it was exactly the sort of game in which Goater would have been dangerous.

The former Manchester City striker was also annoyed that he was denied an opportunity to play for new coach Lightbourne, who he admits he felt guilty about letting down.

"I really wanted to play one or two games for Kyle," said Goater, the frustration clear in his voice.

"And now I don't know if I am going to get a chance to. I said all along that I would try and make myself available for the next round of the tournament if Bermuda got through, but obviously that is not going to happen now.

"I still want to play for him but I don't know when Bermuda are going to be playing again so I don't know now what is going to happen."

With Lloyd Owusu scoring freely and top-scorer Kitson and fellow number one choice striker Nicky Forster returning to fitness, Goater again finds himself back to square one with the Royals in an increasingly frustrating season.

"By staying I was giving myself a chance to impress the gaffer and try and win back a regular first team place," continued the striker, who has scored just one goal this year for Steve Coppell's men, that strike coming in his first start of the season in the League Cup against Oxford United.

"But things haven't worked out at all. It is now back to where we were before, it is the same old story. I now have to sit and wait for my opportunity and try and make the most of it when it comes.

"The gaffer knows me, knows my game and knows what I can do. It is just a case of waiting for him to give me a chance and then making it hard for him to drop me.

"But the lads are doing well, we are in the top four in the league so I have to stay with it, think positive and be patient."