IS it winter or not? After all the winter solstice was on Sunday and, believe it or not, the days are getting longer, albeit hardly noticeable. On the other hand, the weather has been unseasonably warm, getting up into the 70ºs while most of North America is buried under a blanket of snow. It's always a laugh when Bermudians complain about it freezing when the temperature probably has to drop another 25 degrees to get anywhere near freezing!

Actually, to listen to some people, you might think that ice fishing is the norm for this time of the year. In reality, during December and January, you get some of the prettiest days of the year with periods of calm, gentle swell and clear, clear water. While the days are beautiful, unfortunately, the fishing is not at its best and while it is possible to catch a few wahoo on the troll, most of the emphasis shifts to drifting or chumming over the reef areas.

There is some shoreline fishing as well. The sandy beaches and flats are still home to some nice bonefish and on calm days, the water is at its clearest making sight fishing as easy as it can be. Those really determined can also get a few pompano off the South Shore, which might make a tasty treat after the turkey-ham syndrome has set in. Anglers fishing off places like Watford Bridge have also reported a bit of action from a variety of species and even this sort of fishing makes for a restful break from the hectic shopping and holiday preparation activities. To be specific, though, there hasn't been much of any sort of fishing the last week or so. Blame a bit of blustery weather, the holiday malaise or whatever, but there has been virtually no sports fishing effort and the commercial operators have concentrated on lobsters.

With little on the fishing front, this reporter turned to one of his more trusted sources for some hot info. Christmas is once again upon us and, the word is, Bermuda won't be seeing much in the way of a visit from Kris Kringle this year. Recent privileged conversations with Rudolph at the North Pole have revealed that Santa is in a bit of a bind. According to Rudolph, Santa's investments have done rather poorly this year. The same source advised that St. Nick took the not-so-expert advice of a bunch of elves, and went heavily into AIG and Lehman Brothers. Trying to diversify, he also went heavily into Detroit and the resulting situation is rather grim. Worst of all, he was planning to spend all the proceeds on gifts for the Bermuda fishing community but now finds that all he can manage is a few toys for good little girls and boys.

Things have been so bad that he has even had to hock the sleigh, according to that wily sage, Rudolph.

The upshot of this report is that, those with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads had better hope that their slumber is long, preferably similar to that of a grizzly bear. This is because it might take until next Christmas or even the one after for things to rebalance themselves and for the people at the Pole to show a profit.

Despite what some may think, there is a positive side to all of this. Look at what is being avoided. What might have been was a scary trip to St. David's where the natives are more than just restless. Don't blame the Mohawks, they are civilised compared to that other bunch of mayhem-mongers down Ballast Point way. While Christmas cheer is the last thing that they need (talk about firewater!), some decent monofilament leader and swivels are really what is required. There are plenty of stories of marlin that would have won tournaments and there are even a few who claim to have seen such fish, but never has a near winning one come to the dock. The excuses have always been incredulous involving bent swivels and parted leaders – go figure! Santa would do well to avoid that part of the Island.

As for the West End, it would be a bit of a toss-up between the Great Boat (which has kept a low profile as of late) and Nothing's Easy, simply because it isn't. The latter at least made a showing in a couple of the year's tournaments while the former continues to talk a good story.

Another snippet from the garrulous Rudolph is that Santa has a double who resides in Devonshire and who is occasionally seen out in a boat, tormenting lobsters and rockfish. Personally, I think that the gentleman (used loosely) in question is a good bit fitter than Santa. So, there is some doubt as to whether this is true or not but talk about Christmas wishes and magic.

Actually on Santa's list of good people comes the Fisheries Division who have had the good sense not to mess about with the regulations governing the catching of pelagic species by amateurs. Amazing as it may seem, the advice from the fishing clubs seems to have been heeded and this is certainly a case for "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". Tough, but as is the case with most government entities, this year will see them going unrewarded.

As for Pickled Onion and the rest of the Mid-Ocean sports staff, it's a good thing that they subscribes to the school of "bah, humbug!" because in a good year, they would wind up with lumps of coal. In a poor year, Mr. Onion need not hang up his stocking which, knowing his luck, would undoubtedly have a hole in it causing any libations to slip through, coming to a shattered end on the fireplace hearth. A suitable reward for a rumour merchant! Perhaps as we wind this diatribe up, it should become abundantly clear why it is that Rudolph has a red nose. An alternative explanation for the dismal holiday prospects is that Rudolph has been into the mulled wine and other holiday cheer and was in no fit state to haul a sleigh load of fat man and gifts anywhere. As has long been suspected, it would take more than just a foggy night to get him into harness and that simply does not appear to be on the horizon. The truth of the matter is that the Jolly Old Elf will make his appointed rounds and those on the "Nice" list will be suitably rewarded. Based on that information it is probably safe to wish everybody a Happy Christmas, hopefully punctuated with Tight lines!!!