If you feel like you’ve lost yourself since becoming a mom here’s some good news: you’re not alone.

Shannon Young often feels more like a chauffeur, referee or a doctor than the person she once was.

The Bermudian spent several years working as a consultant in Sydney, Australia, before starting a family of her own 13 years ago.

She found it extraordinarily hard to return to the office after her first daughter was born, and struggled to find the right work-life balance.

“There was a lot of pressure,” the 45-year-old mother-of-three said. “While dads are picking up more and more household chores it’s not at the same level as moms.”

The certified life coach eventually saw that her health was paying the toll.

Her doctor confirmed that her blood pressure was extremely high. The culprit? Trying to balance too many responsibilities at once.

“On the weekends my blood pressure was down and then on the week days it was back up,” she said.

In order to manage, she focused more on living in the moment. Breathing exercises and other coping skills also helped.

It’s what she now teaches busy moms through her Aussie-based coaching practice, The Care Factor.

Her clients are women faced with the challenge of growing their careers while also spending enough time with their families.

“It’s a big issue, especially as there are more and more mothers in the workforce today,” Ms Young said.

“In Australia, about 30 per cent of working moms report high levels of strain in balancing work and home life. That’s the juggle.

“For me, and a lot of other working moms coming home and dealing with the chores and tasks, it can feel like a whole other job. You have to organise the children and pick them up from school, and you have to think about dinner and picking things up from the store.”

Many moms end up exhausted and burnt out.

“That’s what happens because moms give of themselves so much,” she said.

“I work with women to look at who they want to be and getting back to their real self.

“I help them see their real value and resolve any inner conflicts they need to work on.”

Ms Young has found one of the biggest pressures comes from other women.

They look over at the mom who gets their child the right kind of organic juice boxes and who picks their youngsters up early from football practice and they start to compare themselves to these “supermoms”. They start to believe they’re not good enough as a result.

“It might not be overt, but it’s what happens,” she said. “I have a mom friend who is a complete health advocate. Her children don’t eat chocolate and told the children’s school [not to] hand out candycanes for Christmas.

“Other moms were taking it as, ‘Oh I’m not as good as her and my children are going to get cavities because I let them eat candy’.”

The efforts women make to juggle work and home life can lead to chronic stress, Ms Young added.

“The mom’s brain actually grows after you give birth to protect and help moms to bond with their children. Our brains are wired for sporadic stress, but it’s not healthy to deal with the chronic stress we continually put on ourselves.”

It can also put pressure on a marriage as well.

“I found a study from Harvard that said women who go back to work, their partners report higher blood pressure and worse health overall — that’s because the work-life balance becomes more challenging. The mothers are more stressed out and bring that home with them.”

She shows mothers how to deal with their feelings instead of putting them on the back burner.

She also teaches them the value of self-care — how taking out an hour or two for themselves every so often will reduce stress and improve their happiness overall.

“If you’re calm your child will be calm or calm down easier,” she said.

“Just like if you’re anxious then they’ll be anxious too. Children pick up on so much. If you’re in a good place your children will be in a good place as well.

“That’s why I try to stick to my guns in terms of my decisions and values and let go of everyone else’s judgments.

“My house isn’t the cleanest house in the world but the children are fine and no one is sick.”

• Ms Young will host a one-day conference in Bermuda in July, for moms interested in learning more about a work-life balance. Register via e-mail: info@thecarefactor.com.au. Learn more here: www.thecarefactor.com.au/