What awaits us at the end of the rainbow?
Thank goodness it's over. An unedifying election campaign is finally done. Scurrilous e-mails, YouTube videos, empty promises, threats and wild assertions, character assassination, epic doses of utter nonsense – and then, allegedly, a bullet in the post.
The background music to all this, for those who watch TV news, has been the theme from "The Omen", a film about the coming of the Antichrist.
The music accompanied an ad from elections.gov.bm telling us how far Bermuda's democracy has come. Not so far, on this showing. After this campaign, the only surprise left on Election Day was if anyone would show up at the polls.
Extraordinarily, should Dr. Brown or Mr. Dunkley have won and claim the Premiership today, he would be only the third elected Premier since 1980 – 27 years ago – joining Sir John Swan and Dame Jennifer Smith in that category.
Yet the stability suggested by that fact is absent: Dr. Brown has been the sixth, and Mr. Dunkley would be the seventh, different Premier in the last 12 years. Even more curiously, either man could have won the election and yet failed to be Premier by the coming weekend. A narrow win by Dr. Brown could be followed by his removal from office, a possibility raised during the campaign (!) by his predecessor.
Should the United Bermuda Party have won, and Mr. Dunkley have failed to unseat Ms Minors in Smith's North, yet another unelected Premier would take office. A sense of what Bermuda is really about these days has emerged during this campaign, and it has not been exactly a heart-warming discovery. Another world? Maybe, but not of the kind envisaged in the song.
Still, despite what at times seemed like the best efforts of all concerned to kill any interest in national politics, voters were turning out on Tuesday in what looked like very good numbers, determined to do their civic duty. By 1 p.m., many constituencies reckoned to have seen 50 percent of their total electorate turn out to vote.
With so much at stake, and so many open wounds, what was this election really about? The Royal Gazette visited many of the polling stations on the Island as the day unfolded, to discover the answer to that question.
"About change," said David Dodwell (UBP) in Southampton East Central.
"About more than parochial issues," said Patrice Minors (PLP) in Smith's North.
"About education, housing and crime, especially crime," said Gina Spence-Farmer (UBP) in Warwick North East, adding, worryingly, that "more than half the homes in Warwick have been broken into or had bikes stolen".
This election has been "about establishing economic power, about empowering people mentally and economically," said voter Leroy Robinson outside the polling station for Hamilton West.
It should be said that on the ground, from Southampton to St. David's (time did not permit a foray into the hinterlands of Sandys or St. George's), the voting process was unfolding with almost universal goodwill on all sides. Men and women popularly perceived as enemies were shaking hands and sharing war stories.
Many candidates who had cast themselves as unreasonable figures in the past few weeks were the essence of charm now that the fight was over and all that remained was the evening's counts and what would follow.
Soundbites from around the Island on the day:
Zane DeSilva (PLP) in Southampton East Central: "Win or lose, we'll be back out campaigning again in mid-January."
Suzann Roberts-Holshouser (UBP) in St. David's: "People will vote as they see fit, for the party or for the individual."
Alex Scott (PLP) in Warwick South East: "Southlands has helped me. I've been seen to stand firm."
Jeffrey Sousa (UBP) in Warwick South East: "Southlands has been one of the key issues in this constituency."
Wayne Caines (PLP) in Hamilton South: "It's been nerve-wracking. Wanting to be a servant of the country makes you vulnerable."
Norris C.R. Burgess, Sr., a voter in Hamilton East: "The PLP are going to give me a victory as my 75th birthday present on Thursday."
Dale Butler (PLP) in Warwick North East (with his tongue in his cheek): "I'm Premier material. I'd like to be Minister of Transport."
More seriously, he added: "The only assignment I'm looking for is Minister of Social Rehabilitation", the post he held until the election was called. "There's a lot of work left to do."
Not a single candidate from either side, asked how he or she would feel about an 18-18 tie and another campaign a few weeks from now, could restrain a groan. One or two confided that they would rather lose than go through the process all over again. At 1.55 p.m., a rainbow appeared over Hamilton, suggesting that a pot of gold awaits.
For what many of our Caribbean brothers and sisters call "the Fatty Nation", that will be business as usual, no matter who wins this bitterly contested election.