My Oldest Island Friend, Jim, A Colourful Hibiscus Flower

My dear friend and kindest of neighbours, Jim Humphries, found this quote among his dear wife Shirley's papers soon after her death, and has since been very much living its message.

Turn again to life:

"If I should die and leave you here awhile, be not like others, sore undone, who keep long vigil by the silent dust and weep. For my sake, turn again to life and smile, nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do that which will comfort other souls than thine.

Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine, and I, perchance may therein comfort you." Author unknown.

If there is anyone I have met since moving to Bermuda who exemplifies living a mindful life or living consciously, or living in awareness, or living in the now, it would be my dear friend Jim.

At 86 years of age he really lives for and savours each moment that is given to him. Some would say that at such a great age it is the natural way of living, and maybe that is true. However, Jim joyfully tastes each moment that is given to him and never seems to put off until tomorrow what could be done today.

He tells me all the time that he is "in training". "In training for what?", I ask, and he just laughs with me. I think he knows that he is still a student in the school of life and loving every mindful moment of it.

He reminds me of the beautiful hibiscus flowers in Bermuda. Every morning he blossoms colourfully anew, then at night when he is so tired from living the day fully in awareness, he closes his petals like the hibiscus flowers and falls into his favourite pastime of napping or deep sleeping.

It is a part of his "training programme". Jim first came to this Island as a young naval officer at the end of the Second World War and met his pretty Bermudian-born wife-to-be, Shirley. She was a member of the Jones family of Paget Hall.

He says that she fell in love with him, but especially with his jeep. He was living fully in the moment even then; he married her just nine months later. When I asked Jim why he had been so fast in getting her to the alter, he chuckled and said that he didn't want any of the other naval officers stepping into his territory and claiming the best thing that had ever happened to him! He turned again to life and smiled.

The two of them went on to spend most of their married life - along with their family of four children - in Detroit, where he worked for the Ford Motor Company.

However, most of their vacations were spent on his wife's and his beloved Bermuda. When he retired 20 years ago, there was no decision to be made as to where they would live; Bermuda would again be their home. One of Jim's proudest memories is the volunteer work that Shirley did for the Bermuda Breast Cancer Group after she was diagnosed with the disease. She worked for many years tirelessly for this wonderful group. They both turned again to life and smiled.

When Shirley, his best friend and wife of over 50 years died, he volunteered to read the Lesson at Church the very next Sunday. He was determined to live in the moment and live it fully in awareness or mindfulness. He turned again to life and smiled.

When he talks about Jay, his oldest son who died of a brain tumour at the age of 50, a deep sadness glazes over Jim's eyes. But then, he acknowledges his loss and sadness, and at once comes back to what is actually happening in the moment. He turns again to life and smiles.

Although living very much in the moment, he is always planning his next step with either one of his two daughters, his youngest son, his daughter-in-law, his grandchildren or with friends and neighbours.

He loves to invite his young grandchildren to stay with him for vacations and arranges fun or educational outings for them. He regularly attends mentally stimulating talks given on the Island or takes his family or friends to his club for a meal. He attends church weekly. He has spent hours organising his house and affairs, in the process of simplifying his life. Always aware of others, he says he wants to make things easy for his children, so that when he is finally "tucked in beside Shirley at St. Paul's in Paget - with the rest of the Joneses", he will have left nothing undone! Jim's life of being "in training" is mindful and simple.

He gets up each day and knows that he is going to enjoy it fully. He swims and walks and mindfully watches his diet. He enjoys fully his family and friends. He is overjoyed to have a fax machine to keep in touch with his family in the US (computers and e-mail are not for him!). He is so grateful every day for what he has, rather than what he doesn't have.

What a great guy! The Mindfulness Practice Community of Bermuda meets every Sunday evening at 5.14 pm to support the practice of living in awareness. All are welcome to join us.

( 236-4988 or e-mail iamhomeibl.bm for details.