There is an anecdote about the Danish Nobel Prize-winning physicist Niels Bohr. He had invited several scientists to his ski cottage. One of them noticed a horseshoe nailed above the door and remarked: “I am surprised that a scientist like you believes in such superstition.” Bohr answered: “I don’t believe in it. But the people in the village have assured me it works even if you don’t believe in it.”

Many people would like to be assured of good fortune in the future and to find ways to avoid bad luck. They search for clues that might help them predict the future, like superstition, horoscopes, or fortune tellers. Some even spend their hard-earned money on it.

The Bible actually warns about such behaviours. In Leviticus 19:31, we read: “‘Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God.”

It was considered a form of idolatry, seeking help from other powers than God. King Saul stumbled because of it even though in his earlier years of reign he had decreed that all spiritual mediums had to stop practising. When he was scared about his future and life, he sought out the “Medium of Endor” in 1 Samuel 28. Through her he wanted to ask the spirit of the dead prophet Samuel for advice. But Samuel told him in verse 19: “ … tomorrow you and your sons shall be with me …” meaning, you will die tomorrow. Instead of superstitious reassurance, the Bible advocates prayer.

For people of faith, prayer is very important. Jesus Christ had told his followers several times to address God in prayer with any requests and needs.  “Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”(Mt 7:7-11; New Revised Standard Version)

However, prayer is not like a vending machine, where you put a prayer in like a coin and get exactly what you asked for. Prayer is more like a conversation with God. Just talk with God like you would with a good friend. That might contain wishes, questions, but even more it can be a way to express our innermost feelings, thoughts and concerns.

This process alone can be very helpful and even healing. When we put into words what goes on inside of us, the happiness we experience, the thankfulness, the needs, the hopes, it creates a clarity and changes the mindset. Prayer is thus closely related to meditation and wellness. It helps us realise that we are not alone with our problems and emotions.

How God answers the prayer can then become secondary. I still believe that God answers every prayer. Sometimes the answer to prayer might just not be what we would expect, just like responsible parents will not fulfil every wish of their children instantly. The answer might be more along the lines of, “You must be kidding”, “Not yet”, “Let’s try something different first”, or maybe even, “No.”

Still, I believe in the power of prayer, because I have seen so many prayers answered, often in totally unexpected ways. It always reminds me of my confirmation verse (Philippians 4:13; NRSV): “I can do all things through him who strengthens me, Christ.”

Though prayer is not an easy way out or an excuse for laziness. When we can work it out ourselves, why should God do it for us? In addition, sometimes prayers conflict with each other as well. There might be as many people praying for Manchester United to win as for Liverpool or, God forbid, Arsenal (just kidding, of course). Whom should God make happy? Thus, I guess he says: let it be decided on the pitch by the players.

Prayer does not have to be eloquent or long. Nor should it be used to show off piety before others. Jesus said in Matthew 6:5-8 (NRSV): “And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward.

“But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” And then he taught them the Lord’s prayer as one way how to pray.

Personal prayer thus is about honesty, being honest with God and honest with ourselves. Sometimes prayer can just be one word, or one sentence, expressing a feeling, hope or wish. It might be a confession, admitting what went wrong, or a message of thanks. It might concern myself or others, who I am worried about. It is not about reciting long texts or rhymes. It is about truth.

At times Christians pray together, for example in worship or “saying Grace” before a meal. Here the leader in prayer has a lot of responsibility not to use prayer to manipulate the congregation instead of addressing God. Nor can it be just read out quickly to “get it over with”, but just helping to put into words, what the congregation may feel in their hearts so they can say their “Amen” at the end, which means affirmation of what was said: “So be it.”

Thus prayer can be our path towards following the word of God as a bridge to living a life of victory and freedom without fear. When we are in doubt, or worried, or overcome by anxiety and the weight of life, we can take small steps towards conquering it by firstly acknowledging that we are worried and need help.

And then pray something like this: “Dear God, help me face my commitments and defeat all fear, insecurity, and intimidation. Take away my mental paralysis and help me act in pursuit of my dreams from you. Help me to speak in a new, fresh faith, full of optimism and positive words and encouraging others. Keep my heart full of hope, faith and love. Thank you for your promises that if I believe, everything is possible. Amen.”

• Karsten Decker is a German theologian with a double degree equivalent to an MTheol and MDiv. He studied in Marburg (Germany), Knoxville (USA), and Toronto (Canada) and comes from a united church of Lutheran and Reformed Churches. He was the pastor of Peace Lutheran Church in Bermuda from 2010 to 2017, and after returning from Germany is now the temporary pulpit supply at Centenary Untied Methodist Church in Smith’s