On the surface, Katie Partington Howarth had it all: a happy marriage, two wonderful stepchildren and a successful career.

As a bonus, she was helping chart the course of other high-achieving females as the president of the Business and Professional Women’s Association of Bermuda.

And then it hit her.

“I had reached a place where I was just absolutely exhausted,” said Mrs Partington Howarth, a senior vice president with Ariel Re Bermuda Ltd.

“I had been saying to myself, ‘I have been doing this for 15 years, I love what I do but I feel drained. What am I doing to my body? Am I going to look back after another 15 years and think I made the right decisions about how I spent my time?’”

The 36-year-old said she was “very scared to admit those feelings” but decided to share them with BPW Bermuda’s members.

She was overwhelmed by their encouragement and the realisation that they faced similar struggles.

Nutritional therapist Catherine Burns and life skills coach Julia Pitt will discuss how “having it all” can impact a woman’s health at a BPW brunch this weekend.

Held as part of International Women’s Day celebrations, the event is open to the public.

“There are a plethora of events, books, press encouraging women to “lean in”, be aggressive, nice girls don’t get the corner office etc,” Mrs Partington Howarth said. “While I see the point of emphasising to work hard and negotiate well, I wondered if we were only creating one kind of role model for successful women. One who says yes to everything and then sleeps only five hours a night.

“No one really speaks about the long-term impacts of stress on our health. When we make decisions, our career and family come first and our health seems to fall a ways down the list. I hear women talking about having more balance but if that just means they are stretching their day to fit more in ... is it worth it? BPW really wanted to explore the idea of creating a wider range of role models for women and giving them tools to make their health and well-being a priority.”

The “vast majority” of her female clients didn’t prioritise their own needs, Mrs Burns said. She described it as “back burner syndrome”.

“They are so focused on looking after everyone else — at home and at work — that their own needs often come last.

“Most of us can accept the logic that if we look after ourselves we can help everyone else better — but there’s a big leap between knowing it and doing it. Many of us feel guilty when we’re relaxing because of the endless to-do list in our heads.

“There’s no doubt that men suffer from stress too, but women are still challenging traditional expectations with the outcome of blurred lines when it comes to their roles. Many women work full-time, but are still the primary caregivers — in charge of domestic things like cooking and cleaning, and keeping tabs on what the children need in terms of dental appointments, vaccinations, uniform needs …. the list goes on. Some working couples share those things well. Some couples don’t.”

The situation isn’t limited to executives, it’s one any working woman might find herself in, Ms Pitt added.

“Despite any other differences, many women are united by the simple fact we put ourselves under enormous pressure to achieve more and be more. Our goal is to help women recognise when that’s becoming a problem in terms of their health.”

Part of the solution is to help women understand “the long-term, cumulative impact of chronic stress”, Mrs Burns said.

Once that’s done, it’s easier to make a plan.

“We have nutritional strategies and perspective adjustments that can make all the difference between succumbing to the negative impact of stress and thriving under pressure,” the therapist added.

Tickets for Sunday’s 12pm brunch at Coral Beach Club are $45 for BPW members and $50 for non-members. To RSVP, e-mail bpwabermuda@yahoo.com.