Susan Thomas feared being stigmatised when she publicly revealed she had a depressive illness. David is sharing his story anonymously today, because he worries he might be judged. Mrs Thomas was flooded with messages from people who said they had similar issues after she spoke at a Bermuda Mental Health Foundation forum. Many of the messages came from total strangers who’d never told anyone else about the battle they were facing. “It seemed like people just wanted to talk,” she said. The Island observes Mental Health Awareness Month every September. Lifestyle is today sharing stories of people battling mental health issues to keep the conversation moving forward. Visit Bermuda Mental Health Foundation to learn about the resources available here.

Susan Thomas worried her way through childhood.

It started with a panic attack when she was five. Before she knew it she was stressing constantly — about robbers, terminal illness and her next panic attack.

Before the age of ten, she was a fully-fledged hypochondriac and certain that death was just around the corner.

“I lived in fear of being in fear,” said the 40-year-old stockbroker.

Therapists didn’t help.

“I felt like they were looking for some kind of tragic childhood event,” she said. “No one ever specifically came out and asked if I was abused but I always felt they were looking for something that didn’t exist. I had a great family and tons of support. I had a picture-perfect childhood.”

One therapist thought controlled breathing exercises, nature walks and positive visualisation was the answer.

“Thinking about it now, it was like they were asking a diabetic to talk themselves out of an insulin issue,” she said.

It wasn’t until 12 years ago when she moved to Bermuda to marry, that she finally found help. A local psychiatrist determined she had “a depressive illness”.

“I think that is a general term for the combo of depression, anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder that I have,” Mrs Thomas said.

She was prescribed the antidepressant Prozac which made all the difference.

“I now see my psychiatrist every six months or so, now that I’m ‘regulated’.” she said. “When I was first diagnosed it was much more often to see how I was reacting to the meds and dosage.

“The doctor explained it all really simply. He said our brains are like computers. They are all basically wired the same but everyone has glitches. Mine just overprocesses things. I felt so relieved that it was my brain, not me.”

She doesn’t believe that everyone with an anxiety issue should be on medication, but is certain it changed her life.

“The meds keep me from spiking out of control with worry,” she said. “I still worry, but not to the point of being incapable of living a great life.”

Her scariest time was eight years ago when she was pregnant with her daughter, Helena.

“I never took Prozac while I was pregnant,” she said. “Naturally, I worried about everything. I worried about how I would cope without meds with all those hormones racing around. It was a white-knuckle time for me, but in the end I was fine.”

Not long after the diagnosis she made the decision to be open about her problems with her friends and family.

She worried she would experience some kind of backlash or be stigmatised, but that didn’t happen.

“People came out of the woodwork to tell me about their own experiences,” she said. “It’s a lot more common than I thought.”

The worst fallout was a bombardment of “helpful” suggestions from people who really didn’t get it.

“You just need a hug,” said one friend. Others suggested exercise or a positive outlook.

“I’m not having a bad day,” said Mrs Thomas. “I have anxiety. I don’t need a hug.”

Ironically, she believes there has been a bright side to her experience.

“I’ve learnt to be really tolerant and patient with others,” she said. “You never know what other people are going through.

“I’ve also learnt to laugh at myself. If you’re having a problem, see your doctor, or call the Mid-Atlantic Wellness Institute. Open up to others about it.”