I was getting ready this weekend for a pool party and started to give myself an overview as I changed into different bathing suits.

I pulled, tugged, adjusted, squeezed, wiggled and then settled on a bathing suit that I would feel confident, comfortable and positive in.

It’s so important to feel positive in our bodies — regardless of our height, weight or our genetic make-up. But how do we really learn to internalise that feeling of body positivity? Learning to love ourselves is an awesome goal for us all, but learning to love our bodies can be difficult. It’s not as simple as looking in the mirror and chanting a few motivational phrases before you head off for the day immediately feeling simply amazing about yourself.

Try not to compare

The truth is that we really don’t feel body positive most of the time. And seeing photos on social media of smiling people with their matching workout gear talking about how positive they feel about themselves can really make us feel down if we don’t feel the same. It’s difficult sometimes not to compare or feel like something is wrong with us if we’re not feeling as confident as they seem to be through their feed. But we really have no idea what that person really feels like.

Just practise

Body positivity isn’t something you just snap into. You can’t just pop body positivity into your calendar and have it factor itself into your daily life. It is a journey. There is nothing magical about it. There are definitely books you can read and other methods of self-help that will bring love and acceptance into your day-to-day life. However, body positivity is definitely something that needs practice. There will be plenty of highs and lows along the way. Some days we might be all in, and others not as much — and that is OK.

Learn to accept

The true goal of body positivity to me is learning to be extremely kind, understanding and gentle with yourself. Of course when I was dressing I could have pulled myself down in whatever way I chose. But it’s about accepting and loving your body with its stretch marks, scars, moles or whatever you deem as a bodily flaw. It’s about being appreciative of all the amazing things your body does daily to help you to achieve your goals and live the best life possible. It’s about choosing to eliminate as much as we can (we all have our days) the negative thoughts about our bodies. Learning to love your body is an individual process. All of our bodies are different. There is no race to loving them. As long as that is the end goal, we are in the right place.

Step by step

One major step you can try towards body positivity is to write down a few things you love about your body. Go over them every morning. Place your words of affirmation about your body on the fridge, bathroom mirror or anywhere else you visit frequently in the house. Also, pack away any article of clothing that makes you uncomfortable when wearing it. Wearing clothing that makes you feel bad about yourself will have the adverse effect and will not help you on your journey. Lastly, try and compliment people whenever you can. Seeing something positive in someone else can help you show yourself a little more kindness.

Remember to be your own cheerleader and B-Active for life!

Betty Doyling is a certified fitness trainer and figure competitor with more than a decade of experience. Look for B. ActiveForLife on Facebook