It's 2025. The normal vibe of "new year, new me” is upon us. Gym memberships are booming, diet plans are trending, and everyone has a vision board prepared with their greatest ambitions. But honestly? I'm not feeling it.

With my mom’s passing less than a month ago, the “new me" feels like a stranger these days. In my last article, I raved about the power of exercise – how it unleashes those endorphins and helps you cope with grief. And don't get me wrong, exercise is still my champion. But I've just been on vacation, surrounded by distractions, and the weight of my loss feels heavier now that the fun is coming to an end.

As I return to the real world, I am facing the dreaded question: "What's next?" Grief is a gaping hole and we all seek ways to fill it. Some turn to food, others to alcohol, or any number of unhealthy coping mechanisms. It's a desperate attempt to drown out the pain.

I know I need to find healthy ways to cope. To honour my mom's memory, not by wallowing, but by living a life that reflects the values she instilled in me. But where do I even begin? How do I rediscover myself when every corner of my world whispers of her absence?

So if you have gone through a loss of any kind, maybe "new year, new me" isn't about major transformations. Maybe it's about small, intentional steps such as starting with a grief counsellor. Maybe It’s about finding joy in the everyday – a sunrise or sunset, a good book, shared laughter with a friend. Maybe it’s about honouring the grief while also nurturing the parts of yourself that still long for life.

It's a journey, not a race. A slow, meandering path with detours and unexpected turns. And that's OK. Because even in the midst of sorrow, there's still beauty to be found.

There's still a "YOU AND ME" waiting to be rediscovered, one tiny step at a time.

• Betty Doyling is a certified fitness trainer and figure competitor with more than a decade of experience